Filed under: Boston Red Sox
I haven’t posted in a while because I have been speechless. Speechless because I injured myself. The bile from vomiting continuously the last two weeks temporarily scalded my means of verbal communication. Granted I still could type. But I was just too upset.
Its almost impossible to describe the feeling. I can barely get myself to crawl to the television to watch another Sox blunder or drag myself to the computer to check updates, scores, or opinions. It many ways its far worse than a playoff loss. Thats a much quicker, more humane way to go out. At least you competed. You met some goal of the season and achieved what most teams did not. Yet this slow, painful plunge from contention to mediocrity and (gasp) eventual early, post-seasonless termination is beyond unbearable. Its bleeding a dawdling, deliberate death with each passing out-of-position/too-many-injury game being another pint of blood lost in the painful path to season ending failure.
I can’t watch. I can’t expose my own eyes to the twinge of witnessing Kevin Youkilis drop a ball while playing left field. Or knowing that Mark Loretta’s last days as a Red Sock might be playing first base. Or watch Manny take another day off because an MRI stated that Manny has just given up while his partner in bat actually had to go the hospital because he was so stressed about losing to the Yankees. I feel like Joe Pesci at the end of Casino watching my brother get pummelled by a baseball bat in a deserted corn field.
And yet I can’t turn away. These are the same guys I have known and loved since April. And with the weather still nice and the NFL more than a week away, I can’t pull myself from the now agonizing depths of baseball mode. Whats worse is that six games back with four still to play against the Yankees doesn’t seem impossible on paper. Yet with one flick of the remote I am engulfed yet again with hopeless despair. In the most critical month of our 2006 season, the Sox have flopped, floundered, and failed their way to a valid pursuit of the worst August record in Red Sox history and a possible third place finish in the AL East. We have been nothing short of abysmal, getting swept by the Royals, the Yankees, and now the Mariners. We have more guys on the DL than in the lineup and our manager is coughing up blood(literally). Its Armageddon in Red Sox Nation with no hope to relieving the excruciating hurt in the weeks ahead. Which begs me to ask the question..
Why do I still believe?
theaveragefan@bostonprosports.com
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