All Kinds of Fun Stuff
Tuesday April 25th 2006, 3:59 pm
Filed under: Boston Red Sox, Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics, New England Patriots

The Bruins and Celtics seasons are over. Unfortunately I can’t say that either was a success. For some reason people continued to root for the Celtics down the stretch despite their atrocious record. Some days it was downright painful to watch. I think because the collective record of the Atlantic Conference is perennially morbid, it allows us to somehow maintain hope that a 33-49 record will make the playoffs and thus be a successful season. Or maybe our Celtic standards have dropped so low that everything has become relative to itself. Meaning that if we sucked real bad last year then this years sucking pretty bad wasn’t all that bad even though it was bad. Get it?

Hopefully this year’s draft will help us out a lot(don’t we say that every year?). Its hard to pinpoint what this team needs. The problem with the Celts is that it doesn’t seem that one player will solve all this team’s problems. We kind of need help in every department. We don’t have a true point guard, we don’t have any solid or experienced post players, and our veteran leadership exists in only two players on the roster. You could also lay some pretty heavy lashings on the coach and Front Office. Yes we can make arguments that our youth has potential, but it seems our distorted green lenses have compelled us to make that argument for the past few years. Its obvious that the Celtics need something(or someone) yet you and I and apparently Danny Ainge have yet to put our finger on what that something actually is. We’d like to think it will come in the form of our 2006 First Round Draft Pick. Although Ainge’s track record of drafting young potential with promise isn’t very comforting. Can we please not draft a high schooler this year. I think it would be pretty embarrassing if Danny Ainge was arrested after we made the playoffs for purchasing alcohol for minors in the form of celebratory champagne. Well here’s hoping another Draft Pick works out. Go Green(sigh).

In other news, the polar opposite franchise(y’know the one that sucked for a long time and recently has been dominant) also has a draft coming up. This one is a lot longer and much more anticlimactic(sounds like a bad porn star). I am saying our top priorities are running back and linebacker. We have a solid O-line, a great young D-line, and our wide receivers are ok as well, despite the loss of David Givens. Of course it is always smart to stack up on Offensive Linemen since it seems they do down faster than a sedated Bill Parcells. It would be great to pick up a young and talented running back that could mentor under Corey Dillon for a year. Same goes with a linebacker. Obviously kicker is a need. Despite us picking up Tebucky Jones in the offseason we will probably need some depth in our secondary as well. Don’t expect Bill and Co. to break the habit of drafting the best football player/athlete available though. With his track record though, I am ok with that. He knows a hell of a lot more than I do. In Bill We Trust.

Schilling goes for his 5th win tonight. He will try to join the likes of Pedro Martinez and Babe Ruth for Sox pitchers to record five wins in April. I hope he does it.

theaveragefan@bostonprosports.com


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