Filed under: New England Patriots
Now that our beloved Patriots our out of the playoffs a question emerges regarding who to root for. Since I have dedicated every Sunday for the last 5 months to watching professional football it is a little hard to go cold turkey. This was illustrated this past weekend when I went out and purchased the Superbowl XXXVIII video to cheer me up as I mentioned in the last post yesterday. I only watched the high-lights over the weekend but I am sure I will bust out the entire game at some point in the next two weeks. And after that there is a good chance I will go out and get the SuperBowl XXXIX DVD and do the same thing all over again.
But to answer my first question: how does the average Patriots fan choose who to root for(assuming said person is not gambling on the game of course)? Well, here’s a quick breakdown on how I see it…
I need to say that I was not and will not root for Peyton Manning and the Colts. Ever. Although he is incredibly talented and it was impressive to see him tell Assistant Coach Tony Dungy that they would be going for it on fourth down, I cannot justify rooting for Peyton Manning. Peyton comes across as a pretty classy guy. He’s funny in those commercials and overall pretty much a good guy as far as we know. Chewing out his lineman in a post-game interview wouldn’t really make me want to be his teammate but overall he still seems like a decent person.
However any REAL Patriots fan will not root for him and here’s why. In about 10-20 years the next generation is going to talk about who was the best quarterback of our generation. Since those doing the analysis may have never seen the QBs of our time play, they might evaluate these players based on statistics. On paper, Peyton Manning is one of the best quarterbacks of all time and arguably the best of our time. However without a ring he might never wear that crown. Tom Brady’s rings and fourth quarter comebacks will probably trump Manning’s yards and touchdowns. Which will lead to Brady being dubbed the best of our generation. Which obviously all true New England fans should cheer for since, as we will attest, they don’t come much better than Brady. So provided Manning never achieves a ring, he cannot ever bear the title of the best of his time. Marino might have been the best quarterback, but Aikman will trump him and Jim Kelly any day because he has got the jewelry. So poor Peyton might join the likes of Danny-boy as “the best that couldn’t win the big one.” I even think Peyton would win this contest hands down considering Marino never had an Edgerrin James or Marvin Harrison. So I will never root for Peyton to win it all. At least not in this decade and probably not in my lifetime. Also I think it would be incredibly hilarious if Peyton had some sort of breakdown and ran off screaming jibberish and pulling his hair out. It would be extra funny if this happened as his induction to the hall of fame or retirement press conference. So needless to say I was happy Pittsburg won. No thanks to you, you stupid refs.
Carolina: See part of me still dislikes this team from the SuperBowl two years ago. Sometimes when there is a really important sporting event regarding my team, I get so pumped up that I create a dislike for the other team by making up bad stuff about them. I know, it seems a little ridiculous and perhaps a little Ray Lewis-esque but it just happens to be a consequence of being such a passionate fan. For example, I convinced myself Saturday that Jake Plummer does derogatory things to women, films it, and then sells it in stores like Amazing. Last summer Randy Johnson hurt kittens. Four years ago Kurt Warner disliked elderly people. Jason Kidd beat women(oh wait that one is real). So when we played Carolina in the Superbowl, I convinced myself at some point that the entire Panthers defensive line had midget throwing contests for money. And somehow there seems to be a little bit of the dislikage left from that game. I am also rooting for the Panthers to lose because if I have to hear Chris Berman say “Daylight come and me wanna Delhomme” one more time I am going to gouge my ears with scissors.
Pittsburg: I have trouble rooting for Pittsburg as well. Although I did have a brief stint as a Pittsburg fan. It was in 7th grade when I was a young and confused adolescent. And as I was desperately trying to fit in with the “cool crowd” as most 7th graders are, I did the “cool thing” by wearing a Starter jacket of a team that wasn’t my own. Don’t ask me why this was cool at the time. Maybe for 7th graders it still is cool. But in any event I had a Steelers jacket and became a big Steelers fan. They were my “in case the Patriots suck incredibly bad you still have a reason to watch football” team. Although the Pats went to the SuperBowl the following year so maybe I was in fact just a confused adolescent. My parents didn’t seem to mind though. Of all the things a confused adolescent could do I think wearing a non-Patriots jacket and rooting for another team was about the most docile thing possible. I guess experimenting with rooting for another team is a little different than experimenting with playing for another team. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I also could have pierced my nostrils, ingested aerosol fumes, and tortured the cat. So needless to say my parents were ok with me as a Steelers fan when I was 13. I don’t know where I am going with this except for when I grew up, matured, and became a full-fledged Patriots fan again the Pats-Steelers rivalry is now preventing me from fully rooting for Pittsburg. Although Ben and the Bus are more or less class acts and if they do end up winning I suppose there are worse things in life. And hey, they did beat the Colts.
Denver: it would be more justifiable if we lost to the eventual SuperBowl winners. But somehow I can’t root for them. I can’t root for a team who has a quarterback that’s a bum and could double as an extra in the remake of “King Dong: The Porn”. Also I had a brief altercation and exchange with a Broncos fan after the loss and for some reason do not want that women’s team to win it all. She was obnoxious. C’mon lady. Act like you’ve been there before.
Seattle: So it seems like Seattle wins by default. Although I do have a problem rooting for a team that cleared their lineman to play because he made bail on his domestic assault charges. I have an issue rooting for a team that has a wife-beater on it. It stems from my hatred for Jason Kidd and the Nets-Celts rivalry from a few years ago. So it will be tough for me to passionately cheer them on, especially since the alleged abuser is 300 lbs. However he isn’t the entire team and in fact isn’t really one of the headlining stars. They do have Shaun Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck. The former is a hard-working MVP with potential to take over a game. The latter is a local guy who graduated from Boston College. That seems enough for this Boston fan to root for. Although I hope someday Locklear dates a woman who is three times the size of him and tries to choke him in public. Eh…go Seahawks?
Jeez, from reading what I just typed it looks like I might be watching a few DVDs next weekend. Oh well.
theaveragefan@bostonprosports.com
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