Filed under: Boston Red Sox, Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics, New England Patriots
Dear Santa,
I am an average Boston sports fan and I would like to send you my list of gifts for Christmas this year. I think I have been a good boy this year. I was mean to visiting teams and did curse out some of the people who run the Boston franshises at times, but I think thats just par for the course. I guess purchasing t-shirts that insinuate bad things about Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriquez wasn’t too nice either, but I am hoping you can forgive me for that. I also know that this past year I have been spoiled as well, what with all the parading around the World Champion TrophieS and all. However, there are a few things that I would like this Christmas. I don’t think its too much to ask. Perhaps you could find room in your sleigh. Thank you very much.
1. A power-hitting lefty first baseman.
2. A New Bruins Front Office(whoops…who said that?)
3. The preserved health of the entire Patriots team. Since you are good at the whole video game thing, maybe you could give them one of those stars like you gave to the Mario Bros. for the last two games so they don’t get hurt. Just an idea.
4. A whole lot of experience for the Celtics rookies and sophomores(its too bad this weren’t like NBA 2K6 where we could play like 2 seasons with playoffs in a 7 day span. I bet we’d be nasty.)
5. A lead-off hitting centerfielder(sigh) that bats above .300 with and OBP of .350 or higher. Even if he is named after a children’s breakfast cereal. I don’t really care.
6. Less expensive Bruins tickets. (I think Scott Boras and Jack Welch are the only two that can take a family of 4 to the Fleetcen–excuse me, Gahden for a game)
7. 5 degrees Fahrenheit playoff weather.
8. A golden glove shortstop. Even if he is named after Gumby’s dog. Like I said, I don’t really care.
9. A few relief pitchers(y’know, like stocking stuffers).
10. Continued patience for Paul Pierce.
11. A nice family to adopt Manny’s out of wedlock kid. So he doesn’t leave.
12. Some prozac or zanex for Dan Shaughnessy(or maybe just a prostitute or something)
13. Confidence and competency for Ben Cherington and Jed Hoyer. Or maybe for them to combine together to form a Super-GM. Like Voltron or something.
14. Continued faith for the Red Sox Nation.
15. Oh yeah, and maybe world peace or something too.
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